Parenting Without Conflict III

Well, today I attended PWC part III and one of my questions were in fact answered. I have been feeling more and more angry as the classes go by. The primary reason is that I’ve been doing most of what is being recommended for years now and it would be awful hard for someone to convince me that we have benefitted from it. Now according to the counselors they said repeating stages of the grieving process is natural when you are discussing some of your worst moments as we are in the PWC workshop. Okay, well that being said, today we talked about communication, active listening and avoiding creating a “loyalty bind” in your child. Loyalty bind was defined as one parent making the child feel more loyal to them than the other parent by making the child feel guilty about enjoying time with the other or refusing to allow the child to develop and grow their relationship with the parent in a natural way.

Today we practiced some active listening and using “I” statements to make polite request of the other parent. Again, I felt a little lost because so much of the conversation centered on the separation and divorce, but I took the opportunity after class to discuss it with the counselors. It’s frustrating because I know they have to communicate in a way as to not alienate any of the parents and put them on the defensive to the point where they can’t really absorb the information being provided. One of the counselors indicated that some married couples did experience the resentment of the pregnancy all together, but I’m not convinced it’s nearly as big of an issue, maybe I’m wrong.

Anyway, I would say I got the least out of this workshop than any other because I am so starting to shut down. I think part of the reason may be the ridiculous contempt hearing I have tomorrow morning. Our home work is to prepare three “I” structured statements that are polite requests to correct something we see as a problem in our co-parenting relationship. This will be especially difficult because I feel more like preparing thirty.

I’m sorry this is all I had to say about today’s workshop. I guess to make up for the lack of content, I’ll post the listing of “Loyalty Binds” that were given to us as soon as I have time. As always, please check back often if you are interested in this topic.

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